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Palm Beach February 15, 2010

SeaBlaster 8 'A Huge Disappointment', claims Angry Surf Forum Mob.

MON FEB 15TH 2010 – Surf blog enthusiasts statewide have been driven to rage by the fact that legendary local surfer Seabass has failed to blow their minds with a downright freaky new surfboard design for the second year in a row.

Several surf sites have had their servers jammed by a torrent of bitter personal attacks on all facets of Seabass’ character, his surfing and sexual orientation.

“I'm angry, confused and let down by Seabass” writes Bugalugs72 in a tirade typical of many on primesurf.com. “So much for cutting edge surfing... the latest SeaBlaster design is old and uninspired. I've viewed it half a dozen times now on his website and am no longer impressed.”

It's a sentiment echoed by SeaBlaster8Sux on the futuristically groovy site spitesurf.com,“Safe designs are not what I expect from the out of the box thinking Bass-man– It's all just just so PREDICTABLE. The new SeaBlaster is a joke and I hold Seabass personally responsible for dragging local surfing kicking and screaming back into the dark ages.

"Traitor".

“Enough with the Seabass mythology, it's about someone calling it like they see it, and quite frankly, way I see it, the whole SeaBlaster thing stinks.

“In no way is my unfocused and ignorant rage a clear reflection of the bitterness I feel towards my own mediocre talents in the water and the drudgery of my own life, which stretches before me as a sad, increasingly grey wasteland of anonymity”

writes YouseCanAllGetStuffed on critically lauded failsurffail.com

“Take Seabass, biggest disappointment in the history of Palm Beach. Without question he's an enormously gifted multi sport athlete, probably the best baseball player I've ever seen, but I don't think I've ever been less impressed with his so-called genius surfboard designs.

“I mean, if you put aside his exquisite repertoire of power moves, his staggeringly beautiful high wire shredding, a bottom turn that will make you weep with its sheer speed, force, timing and beauty; forget for a moment the astounding completeness of his wave riding ability in any conditions;

Ignore the personal tragedies, the crippling injuries, the almighty focus and steel will of the man; dismiss if you will the fact he'll be first out surfing every morning such is his sheer love for surfing and the ocean; put to the back of your mind his humility, patience and approachability and what do you get?

“That's right, your average everyday surf slug.”

Barely pausing for breath, YouseCanAllGetStuffed continued, “Seriously, if I have to sit and watch another kook weekend surfer stumble through waves with their shiney new SeaBlaster8 I can't tell you how upset I might become, and how I'll bombard the world's message boards with my stinking vitriol.

“It used to be Thank goodness for Seabass, he's the future right now.

“What's that? We're over Bass already?

“Yep, Thought as much. Honestly, what a letdown that eccentric psycho-boy-homo is. Sad to think back how he was once the real deal and the idol of countless Florida groms and hot chicks. These days? Two thumbs down. Waaaay down.

“Without question, Seabass is done.”

Not only is the former poster boy for avante-garde performance surfing now universally loathed for the recent drought of mind-blowing freakiness, Surf media analysts have noticed an online trend towards pre-emptive hating, and cite dangerously renegade sexmysurf.com, where the defenseless Seabass is acting as springboard in a discussion that's officially attracting a gazillion new posts per minute.

“SCREW EVERYONE,” writes self-described 'maverick' blog commenter BlinkyBalls on sexmysurf.com “in particular, screw the ASP tour, the rebel tour, the judges, the caterers, the security staff, the mags, the locals, the tourists, the kooks, Mom, Dad, my little sister, my dog, the Cops, screw’ em ALL.

“And Seabass? Well, I’ve been over him and his cocky attitude for a long time. Don’t tell him I said this but the SeaBlaster 8 is Boooooring!”

--------------

As we go to press with this story, Seabass' management has offered an emotional apology to the entire surfing world for “Seabass’ disappointing inability to blow minds with something crazy and new over the last couple of years.”

“Bass knows he has a lot of dedicated fans counting on him” reads the press release, “and personally feels terrible”

However, a typically defiant Seabass maintains the new SeaBlaster 8 is well ahead of its time and that he has been ripping waves to shreds on it. "Give me a break already, I'm a hundred fifty five years old and I'm still the undisputed Heavyweight Champ in the water."

"When are you punks gonna catch up?"

He went on to say that his "mind blowing high performance surfing" in overhead waves last week at Juno Pier ranks among some of the all-time greatest surfing ever seen in Jupiter or Juno and should have quieted all doubters. It hasn’t.

Posted by gra at 10:24 PM 1,689 comments

Is Seabass a Surf LE

The 2010 model "Paco Rocket".

SEABLASTER 8: This is the 4th Edition

QUAD: The prototype (my board) is 7'7"...quad fin system....very thin squash tail, thin nose, extra light, and some other Top Secret ingredients that only I know.

I developed the 7'2" prototype in 2007 and no one liked it except me. It was totally rad!

In 2008, I went to 7'10", made some huge changes, and the board worked well but wasn't what I wanted. Still too stiff and slow for me. 2009 went shorter to 7'8", tweaked a little here and there, added a Cut Fin, and the current SeaBlaster (Speed Demon Model) is flying! Speed no longer an issue.(see PR photo below).

(above) bass 12/29/09 Puerto Rico

Now for 2010 the SeaBlaster is going full throttle with a fresh new and innovative design. The Quad is a totally different ride than the Thruster. Not necessarily better, but definitely totally different and requires an small adjustment period. It took me 3 or 4 really good sessions before I felt totally comfortable, now I love it!

Have questions? Wanna buy one?

Email:

RadioSeabass@U2.com

MEANWHILE...........

BACK HOME!

BRRRRRRR! The ocean is STILL at 50 frigid degrees in Central Florida!

Totally unheard of for here.

Screw this, We're going back to:

RINCON

Not sure who experienced the most near-drownings on this trip, Jimbo, Louis, or me.

First of all, Dec 29 in Puerto Rico the waves were HUGE.

As in GIGANTIC.

We had to be towed out to the line-up by Carson's Waverunner w/sled because paddling out was totally impossible. The waves were breaking clear across the channel and winding down all the to Pressure Point (if you know where that is) and were even wrapping around and BOMBING at a reef break called 'Wishing Well' (if you know where that is). The waves were scary BIG and any mistake could easily result in your drowning. There were maybe 10 of us out in the water and about 200 surfers and spectators watching us from the beach.

WE each caught some incredible waves that were so friggin big that it was absolutely surreal dropping down these gigantic faces and flying across these massive walls of water. It was totally SICK!

Most of the guys out there were Towing into the waves but I opted to paddle.

The first wave I paddled into was gigantic and all I wanted to do was make the drop, make the wave and survive. Everything went great and I rode the massive wall almost all the way across the channel before easily sliding out up and over the top. After that first one my confidence went way up and I was able to relax a little bit without thinking I was gonna die at any second.

You can't believe how aware and maxed out all your senses are when major amounts of fear driven adrenaline are racing through your body. Keeping your mind in control is the only way to possibly ride waves like this. Of course you better be pretty damn athletic too but it's the mental part that's hard to master.

(wanna see some good video of it? Go to:

www.wavecaster.com and click on the 'Wilderness video')

It's GREAT!

'WILDERNESS' in Puerto Rico (biggest Wildos in years)

(above) 12/29/09 LOUIS

(above) 12/29/09 JIMBO

Man did we catch some enormous memorable bombers!

Palm Beach County Secret Spot Locals Only

Some Florida Beach cams: surfer dude wipes surfboard animated gif

Jupiter Inlet - Erdman Video Systems

Sebastian Inlet - Erdman Video Systems

Jensen Beach - Erdman Video Systems

Sebastian and Jensen are good indicator cams for Surf. Jupiter is definitely good too because the Jupiter outer reef is a fantastic indicator for waves 20 miles in either direction. (click on and enlarge the reef ). I can wake up, look at a few cams and can pretty much figure out exactly when and where the best spot is going to be. I've been surfing here since Nov. 1972 and I know every spot inside and out along the 130 mile stretch from Cocoa Beach Pier down to the Lake Worth Pier.

Other than being grounded for various periods of time due to injuries, or out of the country surfing somewhere else, I've missed very very few big swells here during the past 37 years.

Palm Beach surfer girls are a little different.

From the Archives: Palm Beach Post

Look into my eyes and promise you'll never leave me again!

Dog and Master Reunited after Master Seemingly Vanishes Off Face of the Earth for 40-minute Surf.

Dog And Master Reunited After Master Seemingly Vanishes Off Face Of Earth- for 40 Minute Surf

TUES. JANUARY 18, PALM BEACH, FLORIDA – 46 year old local radio personality and North Beach surfer Sea Bass has been found safe and well, miraculously stepping back out of a mysterious other-world to rejoin the land of the living, his dog told all within earshot on the beach yesterday.

'Millie', a four-year-old refugee from Puerto Rico – who had all but given up hope of seeing her master alive again greeted Sea Bass at the water's edge, breathlessly and loudly exclaiming “you're back you're back you're back oh my god I can't believe it's really you! Don't you ever leave me like that again but I can't be angry at you oh god I love you so much I thought I'd never see you again” and wagging her tail vigorously.

The ordeal began early one chilly morning after a wetsuit-clad Sea Bass and his trusty sidekick Millie descended a private track down to the beach at a semi-secret reef break on exclusive Palm Beach.

Millie's hopes for a companionable romp on the shore – perhaps an endless fetch-and-throw exchange involving a stinky tennis ball – were dashed as they reached the sand and Sea Bass issued stern instructions to “Stay here and mind the towel.”

According to onlookers, Millie initially disobeyed the wishes of her master and accompanied him to the water's edge, imploring him not to leave.

“As a canine, specific short-term-recall isn't exactly my forté, but there was definitely a weird sense of deja vu about this whole scenario,” says Millie.

“And I didn't like it one bit. No sir.

“You have to understand, this man's a God to me – my one and only source of food, of joy, tummy scratches and ball throwing – and here he was, wading out into this mysterious and threatening other-world that I could not follow him into.

“I did my best to stay with him. God knows I tried. But the further I ventured the more my paws lost traction. Like I was running in outer space or something. It was weird, cold and freaky. I had to turn back, and pray to the Lord above that my Beloved DAD would do likewise.”

Witnesses report an increasingly agitated Millie pacing the water's edge, calling out in vain to the fast-vanishing Deity, before returning to the towel.

“Worst thing is when the scent trail allowing you to keep tabs of your One-And-Only just vanishes at the edge between the two worlds.” recalls Millie.

“It's a nightmare. Words can't describe the shock, the confusion, the abandonment.”

Thus began Millie's torturous 40 minute vigil – an interminable five hours in dog time – where the bereft mutt's mood swung from stoic optimism, to a brooding floppy-eared melancholy that not even the intriguing allure of a passing-by Labrador could soothe.

“Sure, I checked that Labrador's anus out – I felt that Beloved Light-Of-My-Life would want me to get on with things as best I could – but I was just going through the motions.”

“When you lose interest in these things, you know you're not doing well, but you have to keep going.”

To get through the anxious uncertainty of waiting, Millie called on all her strength to maintain a routine of sorts: primarily scratching behind her ears and licking her privates.

But in the cruelest of developments, Millie fell victim to several allegedly heartless pranks as other surfers approximating Sea Bass's form emerged from the blue beyond, only revealing themselves to be lesser humans on closer inspection.

“Bastardo! Bastardo! Bastardo!” Millie was heard to exclaim to every perpetrator of these false alarms.

Indeed, witnesses report that it was with cautious suspicion that a heartbroken and wary Millie approached the emerging figure of Sea Bass – who after getting a nice little barrel decided it was probably time to come in.

“I thought, here we go again, another kook pretending to be my Personal Jesus and break my heart into a million pieces... but as he got closer and called out "yo ! Who’s your Daddy" I knew that life was once again worth living, The Chosen One was safe and I was the happiest dog in the doggie universe.”

With emotion running high, a brief bout of recrimination and sulking ensued when Millie refused to get in the car, and had to be lifted up onto the passenger seat.

“I just wanted to be held” she would later confess.

Sea Bass and Millie returned to their west side home by lunch, to be greeted by Missy, the resident cat, who reportedly cried “Oh dear, I thought you two had drowned.”

As we go to press, Millie and Missy are anxiously watching their master make some toast and hoping with all their hearts that Dad stays home for the rest of the day.

surfing-1.gif ANIMATED SURFER image by bibijorge Palm Beach Post

Jury of Peers Unconvinced Teen Surfer Was Actually In Barrel.

PALM BEACH, FL – Two days after 13-year-old local surfer Danny Kincaid claimed to have been 'fully shacked' at his local break, the facts of the matter seem no closer at hand.

The furor started at 10.35am local time, when Danny and friends were surfing a reform peak out front of the world famous Breakers Hotel, where local Island surfers have congregated for decades.

Kincaid paddled back out to his friends after taking a small inside wave, and excitedly described the tube ride no-one had witnessed.

55-Year-old local surf legend Sea Bass –well respected among Kincaid's circle of friends as the guy who still does the best re-entries and hacks and stuff – immediately disputed Kincaid's claim.

“Sorry Homie” Bass is quoted as saying.

Onlookers report a heated exchange between Kincaid and his mentor Bass, with Kincaid protesting the authenticity of his barrel by describing how "The lip came right over my head. I wasn't like, super deep or anything, but for sure the back bit of my board was fully slotted!.”

The agitation flared back up that afternoon as Kincaid recounted his barrel to some non-surfing friends at a nearby McDonalds restaurant. Once again, Sea Bass provided an opinion to the contrary – this time stirring up support from others who'd been out there that morning.

Critically, Kincaid's best friend Tony McCallum expressed doubts, asking Kincaid quietly “Bro, are sure you didn't kinda imagine it? Like, did you have your eyes open? Why didn't you jump off like you always do?”

Realizing he had little support, Kincaid began to negotiate a compromise, reasoning “Look, it was definitely a cover up, there was stuff going on everywhere. I guess if you were on the beach and a bit back I would have totally disappeared for a sec. Maybe not all of me at once, but, ya' know, it would have been like 'where's Caidy? Oh, there he is'.”

By the end of the McDonald's session, Kincaid's ride had been downgraded to 'full-on head-dip'.

Friends say they will keep a close watch on Kincaid on return to school after the Easter break, lest he revert back to his original barrel claim.

“Betchya he tells that betty Kathy Dobson he got fully barreled”, observed McCallum “He's got the hots for her and nothing he says would shock me".

Bono monkey

Metallica was good in Ft. Lauderdale, but SLAYER still just totally kicks their ass.

Animated Duck Dive

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surfer dude wipes surfboard animated gif Cartoon of surfer catching a big wave

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RADIO GA GA : Holy Guacamole! My 'bio' has been added to www.radioyears.com

They even got it mostly right for a change which is nice. The original was from Radios Who's Who and can be found by clicking "AIRCHECK" icon (then resume')<<to the left if you care.